Rock n Roll Baby Page 6

  “He’s given a whole new meaning to something going viral.” They have been all over social media and the internet. I’d been bored one night and hopped onto their Instagram. I’m not sure who is running it for them now. I didn't miss the hundreds of girls filling up their inbox. They haven't been out in California long and they are already making a name for themselves. I know Linc is only going to get busier.

  “It’s crazy. You think you’ll go out to California when you graduate? I’d hate to lose you here but I know a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”

  “I’ll spend the summer here. I’m thinking he might be on the road a lot. Who knows?” It wouldn't take him much to talk me into coming out there. I am missing him like crazy, but would I only end up in an empty apartment out there when I could be here working? I have no idea. I hate how many uncertainties there are. This is not a time I should be having them. I’m about to bring a baby into this world. I need to figure out what I am going to do. Either way I have to get out of my parents’ house. That’s on the top of my list. I don’t want them to have anything to do with my baby.

  “You tell him you’re knocked up yet?” My head jerks up to look at Minnie. How the hell does she know? I’m not even showing yet. Not really. There is no baby bump but I’ve gained a few pounds. I didn’t think it was that noticeable. I’m not sure if it’s the baby or the fact that I can't stop stuffing my face with food at work. Everything here is so good.

  “How did you know?”

  “You can’t stop eating and sometimes I hear you throwing up in the bathroom.” Right. Minnie has a few kids of her own. I’m sure she knows the signs.

  “No, I haven't told him yet. But I will,” I rush to say. All of this is so freaking hard. I never know if I’m doing the right thing or not by not telling him yet. There are so many big life changing things going on for us at once that I’ve struggled to make the right decision. Keeping this from him is not something I want to do, but right now it’s a necessity to keep our future on track. That doesn't help the guilt that weighs heavily on me.

  “Know that I’m always here for you.” She reaches out, grabbing my hand. She gives it a squeeze. It’s nice to have someone else besides Linc to lean on.

  “Thanks.”

  “Whatever you decide, you always have a job here.” She stands. “I also have a trailer on our land if you’re looking for somewhere to stay. I know your parents are assholes.”

  “You have a trailer?”

  “Yeah, the husband had it up north for when he went hunting but we sold the land so he moved it down here. Think about it. It’s nothing fancy but it’s there.”

  “That’s really sweet of you.” My eyes sting with tears.

  “I didn’t tell you that so you’d cry on me. I just wanted you to know you have options. A girl always needs options.”

  “Thanks.” I sniffle back the tears.

  “When you’re finished eating, have Brian walk you out. It’s dark out.” Brian pops up from out of the kitchen, having heard his name. He’s Minnie’s oldest son.

  “Are you hungry again?” he asks me.

  “Do I eat that much?” I grab my purse and milkshake. I drop my now empty cup into the trash.

  “I feel like this question is a trap.” He puts his hands up in surrender, making me laugh more. Brian is a year younger than me and goes to the high school in Smithville, the next town over.

  “I’m full, I promise.”

  “I’d make you something.”

  “I know you would. I just want my bed.” I let out a long sigh, fishing my keys out of my bag.

  “You sure? We can hit a movie,” he offers. I think Brian is convinced I don’t have any friends. I guess I don’t really have any that live here anymore. I spent all my time with Linc and the boys.

  “Nah.” He follows me out the back door to walk me to my car.

  “All you do is work and schoolwork. You gotta have a little bit of fun.”

  “Don’t you have a date or something? I know all those girls from Smithville High come in the diner hoping to see you.”

  Brian runs a hand through his hair, looking embarrassed for a second. “Not interested in them.”

  I stop when I get to my car, turning to look up at him. “You know I have a boyfriend.”

  “I hear you're pregnant too. I’m not going to tell anyone,” he rushes to say. He must have overheard me talking to his mom.

  “Promise?”

  “Yeah, I promise.”

  “Thanks.” Now I feel worse. Two other people know before Linc.

  “I’m gay,” he blurts out. “Now you know a secret about me and you can hang out with me without thinking I’m trying to get into your maternity pants.”

  I smack his arm. “I’m not in maternity pants yet.”

  “Yeah, but it made you laugh.”

  “Okay, let's go see a movie,” I agree. There have been so many changes in my life recently that a little fun sounds like the exact thing I need to clear my mind. I want to eat popcorn and watch a movie with my new friend. One that seems to need someone in his life as much as I do. I can worry about real life again tomorrow.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Linc

  Writing music isn’t just sitting down in front of a mixer or being in a room together riffing off of each other. Sometimes, it’s listening to a beat laid down by Nick over and over in your ears until it sparks a melody while you’re sitting at the beach while your track man--the drummer--tries to learn how to surf and your bassist is flirting with a couple of Malibu beach bunnies who have more interest in the paint on their toes.

  “We’ve got a gig on Friday,” Benjy is telling them. “You should come.”

  There’s some indistinct murmuring that I try to shut out by turning the volume up on my phone. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Benjy pull his phone out. He starts to tilt it toward the girls, probably to show them where it is or what time it is but he drops his phone.

  A chuckle escapes and I shake my head. Poor Benjy, trying to be cool for these girls and ending up fumbling with his phone. It takes him a couple more efforts to pick it up, but when he does, he doesn’t return to the girls. Instead, he starts to look toward me and then, as if an invisible thread is attached to the side of his face, he jerks around to face the ocean. Nick washes up on shore and Benjy runs down to meet him, abandoning the girls altogether.

  It’s odd, but I’m supposed to be writing music, not crafting a beach drama. I reapply myself to the track. Blue like the … sea? No, that’s too ordinary. So are blue eyes. How many songs mention blue eyes? A thousand of them. Blue lungs? Blue heart? Blue toes? How did I ever think I was a songwriter? Maybe what I need to do is go for a swim. I throw down my pen and get to my feet. My shirt joins my pen. Before I can get to the water, Benjy and Nick are in front of me wearing serious faces.

  “What is it? The water too cold?” I joke. Nick doesn’t care what the water is like so long as he can be in it.

  He doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t frown. He just stands there like a stone. It’s weird. I switch to Benjy, whose face usually shows every emotion he’s feeling and it’s not different now. Pity mixed with sympathy with a touch of anger stretches across his expression. My heart squeezes a bit and a nerve in the back of my neck that I didn’t know existed starts twitching.

  “Is it money?”

  Benjy shakes his head. Nick looks away.

  “Is it Treats? Did he cancel our deal?”

  Still refusing to look at me, Nick shoves his hand through his hair. Benjy bites his lip.

  “For fuck’s sake, what is it? Did someone die? Are your parents okay? Did the factory go belly up? What?”

  My two friends share a look and then I know. My throat seizes up and my brain starts throwing a bunch of sick images in front of my eyes. “It’s Cherry, isn’t it?”

  Nick nudges Benjy, who shoves the phone at me. I don’t want to look at it. “Just tell me. I can take it. Whatever it is,” I lie. I really ca
n’t take it. The worst thing in my life is Cherry getting hurt and me not being by her side. I should’ve never left Shindale. I need to get back there now. I start racing back to my shit when Nick grabs me by the neck and forces the phone in front of me.

  My eyes blur and then focus and then blur again because the images are not making sense in my brain. I see them—two figures with one looking like Cherry only it can’t be because there’s a guy’s arm around her shoulder and that guy is not me so it isn’t Cherry. My mind rejects it. A finger comes up and swipes left. A new image comes up. It’s another photo of the girl that looks like Cherry and she’s gazing up at the asshole’s face because he’s taller than her. Her eyes are sparkling and she’s laughing. The next picture is darker and I can barely make anything out but the two figures’ heads are close together. So close together. I push the phone away. I have to get back to Shindale.

  “What’re you going to do?” Nick asks.

  “I’m going to see Cherry.”

  “We have three gigs this week.”

  “I don’t fucking care.” I throw my shirt over my head, disregarding the sand that spills down my back and into my shorts. I shove my feet into my slides, grab my phone, and take off at a run.

  Nick grabs my arm and spins me around. “Dude, you cannot leave. We have so many gigs. We have an album to finish. What’s the point of going home? Cherry ch—“

  “No,” I interrupt with a slashing gesture of my hand. “Cherry did not cheat on me. That’s not the type of relationship we have. I’m going to get back to Shindale and she’s going to explain everything and we’re going to have a good laugh and—“

  “You can do all of that here. Call her.” Nick takes my hand and presses the phone into my palm.

  I lick my lips and stare at the screen like a snake is about to jump out and bite my nose off.

  “Call her,” Nick repeats. “Ask her or you’re going to waste all the money you’re saving to bring her out here and possibly jeopardize the whole career you’re building to support the family you’re supposed to start with her.”

  Benjy’s hand comes up and folds around mine. “Call her.” He moves my finger, tapping through to Cherry’s number. My thumb hesitates over the dial button. If I call her, I can clear this up. Nick’s reasoning makes sense. I’m trying to save money for Cherry and my future. Plus, she wouldn’t cheat on me. There’s no point in even calling her on this. I push Benjy’s hand away and force out a light tone. “I’m hungry. You guys hungry? I saw a taco truck at the top of the hill.”

  “What about—” Benjy starts to ask, but Nick waves for him to shut up.

  “Yeah, starved. Tacos sound good. Benjy, get the rest of our shit.” Nick throws an arm around my neck. “Street tacos are the fucking best part of LA.”

  “I thought it was the waves,” I joke with fake cheerfulness.

  “It’s the babes,” Benjy yells at us. “It’s the babes. That’s all you need anywhere,” he adds thoughtlessly.

  Nick throws a glare at our bassist but I make myself laugh. “Right. As soon as Cherry gets here, LA will be perfect.”

  My friends nod in agreement and that’s that. Those photos were not Cherry. It was someone that looked like her and a jealous bitch sent them to Benjy to make me breakup with Cherry. That’s never going to happen. Cherry and I are forever. It’s just a thing like the tide rising with the moon and the sun setting in the west. It’s like that and no fake photos will ever make me waver.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cherry

  “Brian!” I shout his name as I run into the back of the diner. Things are finally going a little my way for once. Life doesn’t seem as lonely anymore since Brian and I became friends.

  “He’s out front,” his father shouts back from the grill where he’s cooking. I bolt out the double swinging doors to the front of the diner. I see him sitting in a booth working on his laptop. He looks up at me. A look of concern immediately comes over his face.

  “What?” He’s on his feet. “Everything okay?” His eyes drop to my stomach.

  “It’s fine.” I rush over to him, shoving the papers into his chest. He reads them. I can see the moment when what they say registers with him.

  “You got the scholarship!” He grabs me, pulling me in for a tight hug. I hug him back, and it feels nice to celebrate this moment with someone in person. I haven’t even told Linc yet. Guilt threatens to ruin the moment for me, but I push it to the back of my mind. I worked hard for this and I deserve to celebrate it. I know he’s at practice right now and I had to tell someone I knew would be happy with me.

  “It’s not a fancy school or anything, but it’s free. Books and everything. I actually might have a little extra money.” My eyes sting. The feelings I’m having are overwhelming. Freaking pregnancy hormones have me all over the place these days.

  “Don’t downplay this. I told you that admission letter you sent in was killer. I still say you should say fuck nursing and do something with writing. You’d make an amazing journalist.” He snaps his fingers like he’s figured out what I must do in life now. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted by that path in life, but I know that I have to stick to my plans.

  “I have to pursue nursing.” Brian rolls his eyes. “Why are you rolling your eyes at me? You want to be a nurse too,” I remind him.

  “Yes, because it’s truly what I want to do.”

  “It’s safe.” I let out a long sigh, knowing that nursing will eventually provide me with the financial security I’ll need. That no matter where I wind up in the world or how successful Linc is, I can always fall back on my nursing career. There is always a shortage in the field, so it’s a smart decision on my part. Not only for me but my child too. I have to think about that now.

  “Help me finish my fries.” He points to the other side of the booth. I drop down, stealing one off his plate.

  “I’ll have to take my basics anyway. I can pick a major later.” I shrug.

  “So I’ve got time to change your mind.” He smirks. This time it’s me that rolls my eyes but still I smile. I’m not sure what I would have done without Brian. He’s really been here for me. We’ve become close. It’s nice to have someone my own age to talk to and hang out with. It's even nicer that he doesn't have a crush on my boyfriend.

  “What’s all the excitement about?” Minnie sets a strawberry shake down in front of me with extra whipped cream.

  “I love you. You know this, right?” I take a long sip of the milkshake. Grateful that I had found all of them. They treat me as though I’m part of their family.

  “I do.” She snags the paper out of her son Brian's hand.

  “Cherry.” She leans down kissing me on top of my head. I once again want to cry. Stupid hormones. “So you’re going to move into the trailer now?” She asks the same question she asks me every day. The more she gets out of me about my parents, the harder she pushes for me to leave their house. She keeps telling me that I don’t need to be in that environment, especially the further along I get in my pregnancy.

  “I don’t know.” I should do it. I think what’s stopping me is that I always pictured my first place to be with Linc. This feels like another step in the direction of us drifting apart instead of closer together. It’s been tough not having him here. My love for him never wavers, but I’d be a lair if I said this entire situation isn’t hard.

  “I’ll talk her into it.” Brian winks at his mom.

  “Good.” Minnie gives me another one of her kisses on top of my head before going to take someone’s order.

  “Just do it already. I know you want to.”

  I lick the whip cream off my lips. “Things could change. Linc keeps talking about me moving out there with him.”

  “I don’t care about his words. I want action by him.” So far Brian isn't Linc’s biggest fan. I know it’s hard for him to see me sad.

  “Brian. It’s me that is resisting.”

  “Yeah, because you should tell him.” He doesn'
t say out loud what I should tell him. I’ve still been keeping my mouth shut about the baby. It’s only a matter of time before people will notice. I need to tell him. I know this. I don’t want him to find out from someone else. But now I am feeling shitty about not telling him sooner. I kept digging myself a bigger ditch. I don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore.

  “I know. It’s not that easy.” I swear I feel the stupid tears come rushing to the surface. Everything is a mess. Brian must see me getting upset because he grabs my hand.

  “I know it's not. Don’t get upset. We’ll figure it out. Let’s conquer one thing at a time. We can start with you moving into the trailer.” I know I’m fighting a losing battle when it comes to Minnie and Brian on this subject. I should give in already. Plus it would be nice to have something I could call my own. Somewhere I can call home for now. It will be temporary until Linc gets settled, but it would be mine.

  “Okay. I’ll move in,” I agree. I don’t know if it’s a step in the right direction for me, but I know it’s one for my baby.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Linc

  After the last note dies off, I wait for Treat’s response. And wait. And wait some more. Nick, Benjy and I exchange nervous glances. After the beach, we came back and worked for ten days straight. We wrote tracks, topline melodies, lyrics, sang, played, recorded until our fingers bled, our throats were sore and I ran out of words in the dictionary, but we are fucking pleased with the end result. It was still us, but it was more current than the stuff we had been creating.